Pity Party For One 🎈

Anyone care to join?

I abandoned her as I retreated into the confines of my own mind.
Deeper and deeper I sunk.
Clambering over piles of discarded dreams,
past all of life’s uncertainties,
I plunged into a pity party for one.

The dam has breached with yesterday’s love.
The surplus has swelled, even the mourning doves
flee the rancid stench, it reeks of death.
Can they all smell it, too?
The desperation for a kiss on the neck.
For the softness of another’s breath.

It pools around the edges, threatening to flood.
A sodden sponge, or clots in your blood.
It weighs down the bones,
like a rock in the lake,
or a body beneath the duvet
as you drift past awake.

Every day always feel like forever.
How the fuck is one supposed to remember
that this year is but a minute
Thirty is nothing, yet I’m so far in it.
The clock ticks on, and I stand still.
Until I look up and realize with a chill

that the current dragged me down the stream
I was not sunk, not as it seemed.
It hurled me along, whether I liked it or not,
bumping, thrashing, along the rocks.
It spat me out, gnawed and raw,
scratched but alive, free, the birds cawed.
You are here, they cried, come with us, come fly.
With no aim, no map, a balloon in the sky.
So fly, I do, free but untethered.

I thought I could never.

But each day is new, it is not for forever.